Self isolation

So music, writing, drawing, photography, creating things or putting things together, can get me annoyed at times. Even though they're things I'd love to do, they just make me feel even worst in things I should be feeling happy about. This can be applied to almost everything. And motivation to do anything is already hard enough, to the point of skipping meals, not taking care of myself, getting out of bed, taking showers. Under sleeping or over sleeping constantly. General and daily things that everybody does, it goes even further. I've always labeled it as lazy, and yes, some of it probably is. But does laziness mean even forgetting that you haven't had a meal that day? I don't know what to think about it anymore. I don't know why the things I like give me no fullness, why I only feel empty no matter what, why these thoughts and words in my head can't let me relax. I've had the choice to become a healthy and good person. But I've never...