Self isolation

 this is being a very long journey. Human mind is a very weird thing.It can change its decision in a snap. Human are attracted to mainly 5 fundamental thing. Physical(like how do they look) , financial(their financial status what do they earn) , mental( how do they think) , emotional(they are very caring they think about you) , spiritual(their spiritual practices), but we are usually attracted to first 3 things but we need to love from the last two. Our happiness is decided from the like and followers we get on Instagram not from loved one, social media just create jealousy, envy, anger, still here we are making sure we Instagram (any social media) is the first app we open after we wake up or do some task. There is a "graduate movement" all around us, many magazines covered it, like it is good for your mind, body, etc. But it's being around for decades, the first thing for a Monk after they wake up(every day) is thanking earth for for everything. Food, water clothes, lif...

 Woah it been a wild one, I don't know what will help me. I know I also been there. I been introverted for a big chunk of my life and socializing is something people will learn/experience and it’s pretty hard especially when you run into complicated situations. It’s better off to find people who you want to surround yourself with and stick with them because if you’re gonna stick with people that are gonna stab you in the back or use you it’s just gonna cause problems. Finding friends are not as hard as you think, it's just a introvert has problem cause they don't mess around with people. I didn't like school for most of the part, i trusted people just to bully me, Anyway. Peace! Gratitude. 

 I've had a lot of trouble. Yes, I've had dark thoughts because I was yelled, screamed and swore at recently.  Yet I still got up but now I just let it sink in because I'm not thinking in actually believing that I'm going to be saved from my misery. I've just put on the mask and smiled.  It's upsetting being forced to do something you don't want to do then you just want to yell but I don't want to do that because I'll think that I am the bad person who is just a heartless hoe. Now that I've made up with my friend and I guess it got better?.. I can't change myself, how can I? Hate myself, I know I can't tell anyone about anything . I have done this to me, you can't change the past...Unfortunately no one can. Peace! Gratitude.

 Learning didn't help, giving pain didn't help, giving up life didn't help. Sometime I look on social media (Instagram) I just think, "how do they have such a perfect life" and here I am just boosting my dopamine though listening to music, sometime I think "am I addicted to music". But yeah still listen to them daily not care about the world and my self. Your words can change once way of thinking . It's like a word can break or make your heart.  Once a rich man ordered a pizza from a local cafe. He sat down and started doing his work. One man sat beside him (his clothes were not in mint condition). The waiter Brought the pizza and kept on the table the rich man started eating and so did the poor man. For the start the rich man ignored it and started doing his work again. As time passed by the poor man started taking more and more pizza. The rich man was furious and told him "go get a life". The poor man got up from the seat and left the sh...